Beauty starts with in. The pain of the past, what they said, what they did, how they made you feel, how they took advantage of you. All these things play a key element of alot of the uncomfortable pain of how you see yourself today.
For a very long time I did not like the way that I look, in elementary school all the way up to high school I was told by my peers and associates that I was ugly. I was called names and made fun of by them in class at lunch and after school. Of course this gave me from an early age feelings of self hate and low self esteem. As a child I didn’t have many friends so that made things even worse for me because I though that something was wrong with me.
As a teen I was never told that I was beautiful or that I meant anything. I didn’t know the love of God and others for me. By this time all of the hurt and pain as a child had rubbed off onto my teenage years. It is so very important for children to be loved, told their loved, and showed the love. So in this segment I really want to talk about even though mom, dad, or friends didn’t say the right things; you can still overcome those feelings of self hate and low self esteem.
As an adult now I struggle at times with believing that I am worthy. I want to be transparent because a lot of times we come to Christ and then want to act like we are numb of feelings. Yes I am delivered, set free and all that God says that I am, but I cannot act like my past hurt, and pain has evaporated. It is a process, and there is something that I have to do daily to maintain what the word of God say’s about me. First I have to trust the Word of God and believe that all that is written therein is true, Then I have to believe that it is for me, Then I have to agree with the word by speaking it over my life and standing on it.
Daily affirmations work, prayer, and staying in the word and letting the word of God become a daily part of my life. Is it always easy, NO!! It is a victory already won but I have to do some work. I have to look at why I feel the way I feel, and I dont ever want to be fake and act like I dont hurt. We all do, but there is a solution. Let’s do inventory of ourselves and not those around us. We have enough to look at in ourselves not to be focusing on what someone else is or not doing in their lives.
I will be back…. Look forward to the next post where I want to focus on family love, weither your mother left, father left. We are a product of our past and it all started at home. Mom didn’t love you, hug and show affection. or maybe someone showing the wrong kind of affection to you. I want to deal with those things, but help you to remember that God wants to heal you everywhere you hurt. God loves you and only want to help you understand that though it was hurting you, it was all working together for your good. To help you be a living testimony for someone who would need you to help them through there process of healing.
Be encouraged, I am praying for you!